malaise unmasked
By George Halasz
my story began before my birth
before becoming self aware
unable to self reflect, before metaphor
I could not distinguish my depression
from free fall into deep regression
I glimpsed between your piercing glances
invisible circumstances emerged
enmeshed threads of resentment
between love entwined, co-dependence
our life-journey aligned through troughs of illusion
finally grief ruptured our bonds, after shock
I unravelled, to emerge from wordless worlds
unaware of your privation’s solitary pain
I wonder: is this psychobabble my infant combobulation
or my adult self’s struggle to survive beyond confabulation
I fought, took flight, nearly fainted, fawned, till finally
I embraced my feigned sanity tethered to tendrils of reality
unhinged I descended beyond fugues and trances
to unmask layered placental transferences